Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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