Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
