Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
