Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
