Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize