Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
