around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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