im six kinds of drunk right now
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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