i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
