anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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