Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
