One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
