I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
