No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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