Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
