All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize