So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
