is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
