oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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