i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize