Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
