You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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