I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
