we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
