I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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