Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
