man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm really busy with my period
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