1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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