being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize