spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
