I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
