We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
