Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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