fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
