The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
