Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Oh god it's open bar.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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