is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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