I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
