Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
