Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
