i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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