I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
