and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
