a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
