I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Randomize
