my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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