Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
