if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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