Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
