She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Randomize
