i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
