On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we're making bets on your personal life
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
