I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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