JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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