I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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