Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize