why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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