even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
