Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
