I can tuck mytits in my pants
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
